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Swine influenza
Swine flu, the most feared thing on the planet, is another suggestion for "what will end the world in 2012?" It surfaced on the news just a little while back, but people are starting to get scared, overseeing the fact that the news wants money and they want to try and scare people so they can broadcast more. Times like this are terrible. People believe in anything they hear. If someone said, "Remotes don't work anymore, point blank," they would stop using their remotes. If you had the tinies backup, they would believe you. And this is the case with Swine flu. Swine flu has killed like 5 people in the passed two weeks, but SO WHAT? Symptoms Symptoms of Swine flu are vomiting, coughing, sneezing, sore throat, cheating on your girlfriend (lots of people get this symptom), stomach ache, headache, strange impulse to by a gun and start shooting the neighbor's house, among other things. The news and newspapers want to say that this is a pandemic (a gay infection that makes lots of people go angry and mad and start killing each other with firearms) but don't believe them, because amungst the many people it may have infected, it didn't hurt them. Lies The news said: "People, watch out! NO! We are not trying to trick you and take your money! No way! We want you to know how deadly Swine flu can be. Look at this boy." They pull up a picture of a young healthy looking boy with Swine flu, smiling into the camera. The reporter whispers, "Pull up the one of that kid we beat up and took a picture of!" As they do so, you can obviously see that the boy did not get beat up by Swine flu. He may have gotten attacked by a pig, at the least. Also, people are telling other people lies like this and are spreading the news, much like the "spread" of Swine flu. Code "The spread of Swine flu" is actually a code for "the spread of talking about Swine flu, as many people spread the news of it." A boy whose name is not important had Swine flu and was playing a video-game, and they news were filming him when he did not know it. He was playing Metroid Prime. Such a gay game. Anyway, they sneaked up behind him and hit him in the head with a baseball bat, and then turned on the air, saying, "This boy has just died from Swine flu. We tried to get here in time, but we were too busy sending out invitations to the 'Free Institute for children who have Swine flu', which you all must pay a total of $20 to go to. Hey, boy, don't wake up." The reporter hits him again. References to Swine flu Songs There are many songs on the radio about Swine flu. "Sober," by P!nk, is a song with the lyrics I guess this is just Swine flu! ''Another song, named "Womanizer", by Britney Spears, is about Swine flu: ''Ooh, you know I got the-the-the Swine-uh flu-uh! ''The song "Know Your Enemy", ''by Green Day, refers to Swine flu when he says: "Do you know the enemy? Do you know your enemy? Well gotta know the enemy before the Swine flu attacks you!" Movies The movie by James Bond, Die Again Tomorrow Forever, which showed sometime in the 20th Century, referenced Swine flu when James Bond stated after defeating the main villain: "I cannot defeat that guy with all this Swine flu going around! It's like a pandemic, d*** it!" In another movie, named Spiderman, Peter Parker said to the Green Goblin: "You look like the Swine flu has eaten you up like crazy!" before he perished by sickness to it, which was actually him getting stabbed, as viewers could ''obviously ''see. Cartoons Believe it or not, Dora the Explorer! has mentioned Swine flu a time or two, asking Boots: "What do we do to go to Swine flu mountain?" Boots replied with, "F*** this man, I'm going home." Dora only shouted after him, swearing in every other word. Some even in Spanish. The cartoon Sesame Street said the words "Swine flu" once but did not act like it was a big deal. Then, the Cookie Monster took out a shotgun and started shooting people.